Angelina Salgado Interview | Auroras for Aurora | Respect the Artist

This article was curated by Start Shows

Tell us a little bit more about you.

I paint the Aurora Borealis in memory of my infant daughter, Aurora Annette, who died three days after she and her twin sister turned two months old on September 24, 2020. Painting has been and continues to be an outlet for my grief and heartbreak. To honor Aurora’s memory, I paint the Northern Lights on black paper and canvas, which symbolizes the darkness of grief that envelops me since her death. The bright colors and vivid hues in my paintings radiate the same intense energy and emotion that I experience in trying to navigate this journey of loss and love. Although my time with her was brief, she brought so much light and color to my life, just as the Aurora Borealis illuminates the night sky with its luminous colors. Each Aurora painting is a message to my daughter, painted with iridescent and holographic colors. I use handmade, small batch, color-shifting watercolors in my artwork. When the painting is viewed from different angles, the colors change and shift subtly in the light. Aurora Annette continues to be my inspiration for my art, and, as her mother, I keep her memory alive with every Aurora that I paint.

How did you get your Artist name?

I paint the Aurora Borealis in memory of my daughter, Aurora Annette... hence, Auroras for Aurora. I'd also like to be called "Aurora's Mom" because no one will refer to me that way since she died and isn't here, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still her mom.

How did you get into creating?

I'm a lifelong artist! My first drawing memory came soon after learning to write my name because I remember adding eyes and mouths to each of the 8 letters in my first name. And when I was 6, I won 3rd place in an art contest for my K-8 Catholic School. I get my artistic talent from my dad, who is one of the most creative people I know, but we also come from an artistically gifted family of singers, musicians, poets, writers, visual artists... and accountants. Although I did well in school, I've always felt that art was the only thing I was very good at and truly proud of, and it's always been a part of my identity.

How has creating changed your life?

Art continues to be an essential and integral part of my life. I’ve always found peace and solace in my artistic practice. It is my art that got me through some of the most challenging times in my life: being diagnosed with Stage 3 endometriosis, undergoing two surgeries in 10 months, enduring an emotionally & physically exhausting cycle of In-Vitro Fertilization, experiencing a high-risk, complicated pregnancy, having an emergency c-section 7 weeks early and delivering twin girls, bringing home my babies after being in the NICU for a month, then waking up on the morning that Aurora Annette didn’t. Painting is one of the few constants that I can turn to when everything else feels chaotic and out of control, which is what my life is without Aurora. Painting provides a safe space for me to externalize and evaluate the emotions that arise. It's the only place that I can release my darkest thoughts and feelings, without being judged and stigmatized, and allow myself to let go, and let it all flow. It's probably why I'm so drawn to watercolors: since painting with them can feel so unpredictable, I noticed that I paint my best work when I let go trying to control everything and allow the colors to flow together organically. Through painting, I practice.

I initially started doing acrylic paint pours in the Fall of 2019, while I was going through IVF. I was on such a strict medication schedule with pills, patches, and daily injections. I was getting monitored 2-3x/week, and a blood draw every time. All while working as an art teacher at two different elementary schools and teaching over 500 students every week. Going through the process of creating an acrylic pour painting is very therapeutic for me. It gives me the space to practice letting go and letting it flow, especially when it feels like I have very little control in my life. I recently returned to my 2019 paint pour paintings and started painting different sections with my color-shifting and glitter watercolors, as well as adding landscape details, and this is now the next stage of the evolution of my Aurora paintings.

Where are you from?

I was born in Manhattan, NYC, and grew up in West Nyack, NY. My parents emigrated to the US from the Philippines.

How did growing up in your neighborhood/city affect you?

I went to a private Catholic School for grades K-8, then went to a public high school. After having to wear a uniform for 9 years, I made a lot of... interesting fashion choices. I definitely felt like I was on the outside since everyone already knew each other from middle school. My school is also predominantly white and Jewish. The other Filipino kids didn't like me and I'm pretty sure gossiped about me. Despite my awkwardness and anxiety, I made friends with the other kids in the honors classes I was taking. But it's really in high school where my passion for art blossomed.

What did you do to advance your skills/knowledge?

My high school art teachers were incredibly supportive and encouraging. Art class became my respite from the monotony of my other classes. As soon as I had permission from the head of the art department, I took as many art classes as I could that fit into my schedule. I was able to explore creating with different art materials, while also building the foundational skills and techniques. By my senior year, 3 of my 8 periods were art classes, including two advanced placement (college level) classes in Studio Art and Art History. I was a good student and worked hard, but I didn't want to study anything else except art in college. I got A LOT of pushback from my parents, who wanted me to study "something more practical, so I'll be able to support myself", and we had a lot of arguments over where I went to college and what I would study. After months of disagreement, they came around to the idea of art school and I applied (and got in) to the only school I applied to the Fashion Institute of Technology. I got my Associate's degree in Fine Arts, then transferred to Hunter College because I wanted to study art history, and there, I double majored in Studio Art and Art History. I knew that I wanted to get my Master's degree, but I couldn't decide if I should get an MFA in Studio Art or MA in Art History. So, I opted to go into Art Education at the City College of New York, and took additional museum studies and art history courses, for a concentration in museum studies. I interned at the Met and the Museum of Art and Design, then for the next 4 years, worked as a freelance art and museum educator, teaching in various museums, art organizations, and schools across NYC, including MoMA, the Brooklyn Museum, Cooper-Hewitt, and Free Arts NYC. I got my first classroom teaching job as the art teacher at Harlem Children's Zone Promise Academy I Charter School, teaching grades 3-5. I continued to teach art after moving to NJ. Art has always been an integral part of my identity and also my school years, and art continues to inform every aspect of my life.

What does your current setup look like?

I'm fortunate enough to have my studio in my apartment (because I took over the dining room when we first moved in). I have a large desk with lots of shelving that I'm pretty sure belongs to my sister, but I have it now and it's the perfect workspace for painting and working. I do all my painting on my desk, even my paint pours (I keep it all contained in a box).

Who inspires you? Why do they inspire you?

My dad inspires me. Even before he met my mom, he emigrated to the States and was living in NYC in the 70s. He got his US citizenship and worked for a few years before returning to the Philippines to finish college and then met my mom. Even when I was really young, I remember driving into the city with my mom and siblings to pick up my dad because he was often in the office until late. He worked so hard and put in so many hours, even learning a new language and being able to express complex, accounting concepts in business meetings. I get my ambition, work ethic, discipline, and drive from him. He worked so hard to provide for our family, and I'm eternally grateful for his sacrifice.

I also really admire my husband, Stacey, for similar qualities I see in my dad: the strong work ethic, discipline, dedication, and dependability. Since we brought our twins home, he's been involved and did not leave me alone to do anything by myself. We took on twin parenthood as a team, and I already knew that raising our daughters wouldn't be so difficult because he would be with me through it all. After Aurora died, we decided to sell our house, Aurora's only home, the only place where our family felt complete, but now without Aurora, there was so much pain and heartbreak connected with our house. We also wanted to move closer to our parents, as our house was over an hour drive for them. 2 months after Aurora died we decided to sell our house, in November 2020. It was Stacey who singlehandedly undertook to sell our house (he took all the listing photos, was in contact with the realtor and lawyer, did the repairs or found the contractors to do them) and moving, getting a storage unit since we were downsizing from a 4BR house to a 2BR apartment, finding a suitable pet-friendly apartment for us, our infant, and our Old English Sheepdog. I was so deep in my grief and depression that he HAD to do all of this by himself. And looking back now, we literally wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for him. It's THAT dedication to his family that I really admire.

What is your goal when you create?

For my watercolor paintings, I work from photos taken by Aurora photographers around the world, so they aren't as abstract as my acrylic paintings. When I paint with watercolors, my goals are...
• to identify the different colors and the areas where they blend into each other
• to find balance: in the delicate interplay between light and dark, between the black of night and the colors of the Aurora, and in the color shift colors and the gouache colors (aka shiny vs matte)

For my acrylic paintings, my goals are to find the Aurora in the paint pour, and to match the metallic acrylic color to a color shift watercolor, to make the shift in colors smoother and the transition more seamless.

The real reason I create is to provide myself with a truly safe space to experience whatever thoughts and feelings have been simmering throughout my day. When I make art, I experience release. Creation is cathartic for me.

Why do you create?

To find peace and healing. To process my grief and my emotions. Because my soul needs it in the same way that my body needs nourishment.

What's your go-to song right now and why is it important to you?

I don't know if I have one song that I go to, but the musical genre I listen to a lot is like chill vibes lofi. I like the mix of beats with instruments, and either jazz or classical components, and I like that it's all instrumental (for the most part). I listen to it when I'm making art, or trying to write/compose text and content. I also use it as the music for all of my artwork videos. And it all goes back to my love for Ratatat.

What is your dream as an artist and what steps are you taking to reach your dream?

My dream, as both an artist and a mother, is for my Aurora paintings to become famous and gain worldwide recognition. Because the more people that know my art will also know of my daughter, Aurora. Her memory lives on through my paintings, and it is through my art that I can ensure she will never be forgotten, and that my difficult years-long struggle with fertility and journey to motherhood is validated.

I'm consciously acknowledging that my goal, to put it bluntly, is "I want to be famous", and simultaneously, not allowing this mentality to affect my journey. I'm constantly reminding myself that likes and follower counts shouldn't take the place of genuine, heartfelt connection, because I believe that the right people will find me and connect with my artwork. I sell my artwork on my website. I also enter my artwork into exhibition open calls, but what I think I'm focusing the most on is not to stop creating. I paint every single day. My artwork has developed and evolved in ways I never could have imagined. As long as I continue to create, I know that I'm still working towards my goal, and that speed doesn't matter as much as direction, so I'm trying to just let go and leave it up to the universe.

What is the best advice you would give someone with a dream?

Don't stop, even when it starts getting hard and more complicated and you struggle to keep going. Trust the process.

At the same time, prioritize your mental health. It will definitely feel intimidating and overwhelming at times (if not all the time), then in those moments, acknowledge how you feel. You can't control your reaction, but you can control your response. Give yourself some processing time, and allow yourself to sit with the discomfort until you feel ready to continue, but also realize that you'll NEVER feel completely ready, no matter how much you've prepared, so lean into the discomfort, let go, and let it flow. (Also, I underestimated the power of deep breaths)

Tell us about your most recent release

(I acknowledge that what I'm about to describe may not be the type of 'release' you were expecting, but I think it still answers the question). I had an art show with Start Shows NYC on July 22-24. It was already an emotional weekend because my twin daughters were turning 2 years old on Thursday, July 21. I was dreading their birthday, because, for me, it's become an annual reminder that I gave birth to two babies, but am now only celebrating with one. I was hoping to be distracted enough with preparing for the All Star Show that I would be too occupied and busy to feel depressed or guilty that I wasn't excited for my Earth daughter to turn 2. All week, my family was asked what we had planned for her birthday, and I felt a pang of guilt when I admitted that I had nothing planned, except for my art show.

The next day, Friday, July 22, was a complete train wreck of a day. I was late for everything, which made me late for the opening. I was so overwhelmed being there that I just allowed myself to take it all in so I can know what to expect the next couple of days.
On Saturday, July 23, I started the day by waking up early, doing morning yoga, painting for 2 hours, and listening to relaxing music. I held space for my grief and allowed myself to cry and be sad for Aurora. I got myself ready and had a lot of time that by the time I arrived at the gallery I felt excited and prepared. I told my story to so many people and it was very validating to be able to connect with people in that way, and of course to talk about Aurora.

Sunday, 7/24 was the day I had my big realization, and I wrote this on instagram:

I’m finally living the life I was too afraid to even dream about.

This past weekend with @startshows was incredible and transformative and full of perspective-shifting moments of enlightenment. But also, the feelings hit hard on Sunday, July 24. However, the morning of the 24th was different because of these words I shared in my stories: “Still vibing on all the positive things energy & love that I didn’t even realize that today is the 24th. I struggle on the 24th of every month (the day Aurora died September 24th), but this is the first time in 2 years that I’ve woken up on the 24th feeling optimistic and hopeful.” After a sweet DM from an even sweeter friend, the weight of those words finally hit me. My daughter Aurora’s memory lives on in my paintings. And then living my lifelong dream of having my artwork displayed in a downtown Manhattan gallery, combined with sharing my story with so many people about Aurora and how she is the inspiration behind all of my artwork was so healing for me. I hadn’t felt this joy and light and color in my life for so long, and it all came flooding back once I wholeheartedly accepted that being an artist is who I am, and creating and making art brings me the purest, most genuine joy.

I needed a couple of days to process everything that I experienced and felt. I told my parents the day after that I’m an artist and that I am going to fully embrace and embody being an artist. It was scary because, although I know my parents love my younger siblings and I unconditionally, they have emphasized to me repeatedly that art is a hobby and that being a “starving artist” is not a career. As the daughter of Filipino immigrants, I recognize (esp now as an adult) that my parents have only ever wanted the best for me (& still do ) and how much they sacrificed to make a better life in the US for their children. They had so much on their plate with both of them commuting to the city for work, making sure we ate dinner and prayed the rosary together as a family, all while raising their children in a different country, and trying to ensure we don’t lose touch with our Filipino culture. In therapy, I finally realized that they were unable to provide me with the emotional support that I, as a sensitive child with very intense emotions, needed. It’s not their fault or mine. My parents were equipped to raise horses and not unicorns.

This day was the day I finally 100% committed myself to my art practice and to living my life as an artist. This was my release!

Check it out here

http://youtu.be/nRvvUEiJAys

Connect with Angelina Salgago

Instagram: http://instagram.com/aurorasforaurora

Facebook.com: http://facebook.com/aurorasforaurora

Website: http://aurorasforaurora.com

Photography credit: Interview & photos by Steven Rodriguez @quiubo_photos for Start Shows @startshowsnyc